Vampires, not just for horny teens

Baby, you really boil my blood. I mean, I knew you were an attention whore before, but going out and intentionally getting bitten by a vampire to capitalize on the success of Twilight and True Blood? That is a horse of a different color. You went from Gerber to devouring the blood of the innocent. You’re trading in your crib for a coffin. DOES ANY OF THIS SEEM MESSED UP TO YOU? Plus, now you’re going to be a baby FOREVER. Did you not see what happened to Kristen Dunst in Interview With a Vampire? Bitch went CRAZY. Why are you looking at me like that? I just nicked myself shaving, asshole. It’s not like I have drool constantly dripping down my face. Get your grubby little paws off of me! HELP! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!