Twenty Ten is going to be rough

Jesus Christ baby can you stop screaming already?  I'm STILL hungover from New Years and all your crying isn't helping any.  You know we decided to take a break from one another during the holidays to avoid situation's like this and this.  It would have been like shooting fish in a barrel, so my gift to YOU was to let you enjoy some peace and quite and what do you do?  You start the new year with screaming and complaining.  Hey it's not MY fault you didn't get a New Year's Eve kiss.  Maybe you shouldn't have gone out looking like this. Someone definitely hit the booze a little too early that night......So why don't we make our resolution this year to be a little more dignified?  Oh and tell your ginger friend he needs to catch up. Welcome to Twenty Ten asshole. 

Our founding fathers would think you're an asshole

I cannot believe what I am seeing. Are you crying? Really? Because of fireworks? This just further proves my point that you babies are all communists who hate freedom. What's next? Are you going to snub hot dogs? Apple pies? Danny Glover? I want you to take a look at this little girl. She slaves away for hours in firework factories in China so that your fat face can be entertained. She will probably never feel the joy of nearly losing a finger while lighting a firecracker, or scorching off one eyebrow with a roman candle. And here you are, taking all that foreign craftsmanship for granted. Well let me let you in on a little secret. I'm opening a REAL American cafe, and this is going to be our feature dish.

Thanks to Zakary W.(http://zakaryw.blogspot.com ), who is a true patriot for calling bullshit on his own baby.

VIVA LA REVOLUTION DE ASSHOLE BAMBINOS

Here in America, we can do whatever we damn well please! We can rob Native Americans of their land, then refer to them as "Indians". We can judge the "Mexicans" like they are aliens (even though their country borders with ours...). And we can call your baby an asshole. So lets band together in our rights as citizens of the United States of America! SUBMIT YOUR ASSHOLE BABY PHOTOS. We need YOU America!

Submissions can be e-mailed to: yourbaby666@gmail.com

Holy Guacamole

Baby, this is what happens when we let your girlfriend Maria drink in the mornings on Cinco de Mayo. She starts walking around half naked and goes out in public like she has a purpose or something. Bitch, stole my hat too. Who does that? Oh yeah, ASSHOLE BABIES do that. Stop eyeing my burrito, we better go after her...before we end up in a situation like this.

Those brownies weren't for you, baby!

DAMN IT! I told you not to eat those brownies I made. Seriously baby...how many times did I tell you NOT to eat those brownies I made??? I told your mom I would take you to see Disney's 'Earth' today only because A.) it features baby elephants and B.)I made special brownies for ME AND ME ONLY! Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the baby lamb.....How the hell am I going to be able to get you looking like this again in two hours? Ugh...just...pass the joint....

He died for your sins, baby

You know what....you should count your lucky stars, baby. So what....I ate all the chocolate in the plastic eggs...and the peeps.....and jelly beans....I was hungry! You shouldn't even be eating chocolate! You should be honoring Jesus. This holiday is about HIM. Not you and your need for a sugar fix. I am NOT giving into your temper tantrum! Keep it up baby, and next year this is the only Easter Bunny you'll be seeing..

Not everyone wants to kiss you

Listen up you. I know you think because of your diminutive stature you can roll into MY St Paddy's celebration reeking of corned beef and cabbage and green beer, but you sir, are not a leprechaun. You may crap green poop, but that doesn't make you any more Irish than those girls who claim they are Irish and can drink you under the table. Yeah, we all know how that ends. And just so you know baby, the ambassador of Ireland isn't very fond of you either....

Someone get this asshole a calander

Hey, you know that saying "a day late and buck short"? Well you just took that to a whole new level baby. I also don't appreciate you using all my highlighters to make your stupid little hat. I'm not Staples. Jerk.